*All prices are subject to you being a morally decent being and actually paying for them. As a demon, I did not pay for them. Petty theft , if it hurts an evil corporation, is very acceptable.
Aviators
A classic sunglass choice. Perfect for any occasion, especially an unexpected beach trip, your angel springs on you at the last minute. Stylish but also functional to block out the blasted sun’s rays. Price £20 and up.* 7/10
Oversized
Don’t want anyone to see you looking at them? These will hide your judging gaze while keeping your eyes shielded. Pair with a ridiculous hat your angel bought at the souvenir shop, then lie back and take a long nap in the sun. Price £15 and up.* 6.5/10
John Lennon
Another classic. Can’t go wrong with these. I mean come on, the name says it all. Priceless.* 10/10
Volleyball
Another larger frame, but hides any chance of someone looking at your eyes from the side. Almost like a sleep mask. Which is perfect. Put these on and take a nap in the sun. But remember your sunscreen, or your angel will remind you every five minutes. Price £25 and up.* 6/10.
Gas Station Specials
When you forget to pack yours, or you lose them when your angel makes you fall into the ocean. These are a decent, quick replacement. They can be found in just about every bloody shop within ten miles of the beach. The colored lenses do absolutely nothing for your eyes, especially if you have snake eyes. But when you send your angel to get you a new pair because you can’t bloody see, this is what they bring back because they thought they were “cute”. Price too much for the excuse of sunglasses.* -666/10
